Career Advice: "If you have to cry, go outside."
Last night I watched the premiere of Bravo's "Kell on Earth," which chronicles the realities of the business of fashion through Kelly Cutrone and her public relations agency People's Revolution. As I watched the show and how Kelly interacted with her staff and clients, I thought it was a fascinating look at a woman entrepreneur in a tough business environment. At one point, she tells her staff in a team meeting, "If you have to cry, go outside." While her statement came off as tough, I thought it was actually very good career advice. (There's also a new book out by Cutrone by the same title.)
We all get emotional at work and sometimes feel overwhelmed. For me, frustration, anger, sadness and even happiness ("happy tears") can be expressed by crying, but I've had to learn to curb my emotions on the job. Crying at work over stress or frustration doesn't help you, and it makes a tough work situation more awkward for those around you. You and your coworkers can't focus on a solution if you're crying. And you also don't want to be viewed as the person in the office who can't handle tough or stressful situations. When you're at work and feel tears coming on, taking a break from the situation ("going outside") can help you calm down, get your emotions in check and return to the situation with a clearer head.
Women are often accused of being "overly emotional," and I'm not suggesting you can't be emotional at work -- but if you can learn how to channel your emotional energy into constructive ways, you'll be able to solve problems when they arise and not let your emotions cloud your judgement.
Leslie Banks
Reader Comments (4)
Great article Leslie.
When i was 19, my boss at that time was a woman who at that time I admired. But little by little, she started changing and became someone who I could never model myself after. One day she called & all staff meeting and she started crying because things at work were a bit stressful. Now I can understand being stressed but all of the staff worked hard and we knew that she was coming in late and leaving early and taking late lunches. I lost a lot of respect for her that day because she used emotions to make us feel bad/sorry for her and that is not what we needed.
I have had big issues with this in the past, and not in the way you might think. In a retail environment, I would never cry in front of customers; in other arenas i'd never get emotional in front of clients. But in private meetings with mentors or superiors, I let emotions run free and cried when things got intense. I made the mistake of thinking that these meetings were a "safe" environment to "get real" in with trusted leaders; WRONG! I ended up leaving several higher-ups with an opinion of me as a basket case, especially those who assumed I was the same way outside of the (apparently not-so-) safe meeting space.
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Great article. As a woman who has been in the business arena from both a corporate perspective and as a business owner, I can tell you that crying might get you sympathy at the time, but it gets you nothing else. The emotions of anger and frustrations are directly hardwired to my tear ducts, so learning coping mechanisms was key to my survival. Taking a break outside is definitely a good one. Calling up a close friend to talk about fun stuff for a few minutes is always a great mental break for me.